because he asks a lot of questions and is rude (sometimes)
big eric: hi litto.
me: $5.
him: LOL.
him: okay, i forgot what i wanted to say.
him: well..imma sleep.
- Cousin: Are you home?
- Me: Yup.
- Cousin: Okay, well, my friend is here.
Donuts. : (
Ever since Krispy Kreme had its bogo, my grandbig and I have been craving donuts…
Him: Omg lil i’m getting half and half and…
Me: …don’t say donuts.
Him: DONUT HOLES. Omfg so good.
- kristine: do you like papaya?
- me: i do like papaya!
- her: did you know that they make your boobs bigger?
- me: yeah, i heard...doesn't work.
- her: yeah, it doesn't.
two hall mates-
michael: it’s two sig figs
bowen: oh my god, no, you piece of shit.
michael: what the fuck, you dumbshit.
bowen: suck my dick.
michael: are you stupid?
bowen: oh, shit, we got them right.
michael: ohh, teamwork.
bowen: -to someone- bye, babe.
michael: i thought i was babe.
- raymond and i were trying to open the window
- him: did you feel that? it moved
- me: yeah..
- him: woo, that was a good workout. -walks away-
Control-
Earlier today, Kristine told me to stop “stalking” and she said we should bet as to how long I won’t be on Facebook..but she’s always texting, which distracts her.
Me: I won’t use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr, if you stop texting. For like a week.
Her: Okay, I can do it.
Me: …starting tomorrow..
Her: HAHAH, YOU CAN’T DO IT.
she has been working too hard, lately-
- kristine: are you still looking at your instagram?
- me: what? no, i'm double checking my alarm.
- her: you're studying environmental!?
- me: i'm checking my alarm...-laughter- oh, kristine, go to sleep!!
- ernest: hey, what's the bad guy's name in harry potter?
- me & vincent: uh...volde-
- ernest: shh, shh, shh!
- vincent: ohh, right. he-who-must-not-be-named
- someone: i wonder if he stalks me, like i stalk him.
A hungry child-
- Johnny: are you sure that's enough for lunch?
- Me: eat this first (nutella banana sandwhich + juice) and then we will see.
- Johnny: -moments later- oh I am full...
- Mom: Pam, you go yell at them.
- Me: -crawls into bed- I'm old, I'm old...
Auntie Carmen-
- Carmen: damn, get at it. Make me some cute little nephews and nieces
- Me: nephews + nieces?
- Her: yeah, I'm gonna be auntie Carmen :( RIGHT? >:(
- Me: what do you expect me to say..
cravings...-
- me: can we please get some chipotle.
- cousin: sure, what do you want?
- me: steak bowl, white rice, green chili salsa, sour cream, guac, and lettuce. and cheese.
- him: haha, i'm just kidding.
family-
- mom: she said why i didn't make the kitchen bigger!
- me: okay, then say i tore it down to make it smaller..
- mom: -keeps talking-
- me: -walks away, into room-